Sing, Goddess

"She said 'Cassie is a total dicktease in those shorts' "

Daphne looks over at me sideways to gauge my reaction as she takes a long drag on the cigarette -- her third since we've been down here.

I look down at what I'm wearing to the second day of ninth grade.  T-shirt, tights and boots: all black.  And the rolled up jean shorts that offended Diana so much.  They're leftovers from junior high.  The rule is, no new clothes the first week of school.  You look like you're trying too hard.

"Why?  Why would she say that?" I make it come out like I'm mildly irritated, but inside, a prickly Oh FUCK is rising up my throat.  I try to tamp it down with another fake-inhale of the Camel Light I've mostly been holding and flicking against the soles of my Docs.  I know enough to hold it in for at least 15 seconds and make sure to exhale a little out my nose, so it looks like I'm really smoking. 

She shrugs and scratches her flaking eyeliner with a chipped pinky nail.  "Who knows?  Maybe because of your dad?"

"My dad?"

"Well, yeah."

"He's just the mayor -- he's not a king or anything."  Now my hands are really shaking, not just with nicotine and Mountain Dew.  I haven't been here long enough to cross Diana and Leah -- senior girls who would punch me in the locker room just to make a point.   

"Yeah, but he's all over TV and stuff.  I don't know.  They were just saying that you seem a little stuck up." she takes another long, dramatic drag before flicking the butt off onto the tracks.  She looks over at me "They're probably just acting like that because they want to fuck your brother."

"Then they should quit being such bitches behind my back.  They don't even know me."  I'm too wound up to concentrate on my cigarette anymore.  I grind it out on the cement ledge.